Become a TEDophile

I look at the Tiger Woods story the way I look at golf; it’s none of my business. My feeling, first and foremost, is that a grown man should not be called “Tiger”, it only leads to bad things. Look, he only wanted the things a lot of men want:
1) a billion dollars
2) a beautiful wife and kids
3) to be able to fuck as many women as he wants
But you can’t do that in grown-up reality, Eldrick. You can have two out of three but not all three. I wasn’t surprised he cheated but I was surprised by the number of women. But I guess when you’re accustomed to playing eighteen holes there’s a certain amount of carry over to your private life. He is a creature of habit.
I was also surprised his affairs were exclusively with white women. I mean, we all knew the old, white men of corporate America have been sucking his cock for years but I had no idea nearly as many young, white women were.
If 2009 has taught us anything it’s that achieving legendary status comes with a price. The death of Michael Jackson coupled with the Tiger Woods story is a reminder that perhaps children should not have jobs by the time they’re four. Apparently it comes with some unforeseen consequences. The unrelenting drive of Joe Jackson and Earl Woods may have produced two geniuses but it also produced two troubled, damaged men with serious issues.
But America loves a story of redemption. Look at Kobe Bryant. A few years ago he was an accused rapist. Now he’s an Olympic gold medalist, an NBA champion and exemplary husband and father once again beloved by fans and corporate America, alike.
This is but a blip on the radar. If Tiger does his penance and returns to dominance, all will be forgiven. Dominance, after all, is what opened every door for Tiger. How many black men do you think are members in America’s exclusive country clubs (much less black guys named Tiger)? Probably fewer than the number of women he slept with. Dominance opened the door to the exclusive world of privilege that is golf and that door will remain open for Tiger because of that very dominance.
In the meantime he will attempt to put his life back together and work on Eldrick with the same focus he has worked on Tiger for thirty plus years.