Ms. Palin If You’re Nasty
September 9, 2008
Like a lot of Americans, I am intrigued by the Republican Vice-Presidential nominee, Sarah Palin. I honestly don’t know enough about her, though. What I do know is that she’s from Alaska, which isn’t saying much. I don’t even think they have tivo up there yet. I heard they just got the first Harry Potter movie.
We know her daughter’s a whore. Although to be fair, getting pregnant at seventeen is actually late for an Alaskan girl. It’s like frontier times up there, anything goes.
We know she’s a self proclaimed “hockey mom”. Well, how about a goalie for your daughter’s poon? He shoots! He scores!!!
And, of course, the biggest thing we know about Palin is she’s pretty hot. Lost in all the talk about “historical firsts” in this election- first black candidate, first woman candidate- is the first Vice-Presidential candidate guys can legitimately masturbate to. I know the Walter Mondale people will disagree but it’s true, she’s the first. Not since Sonny Bono was mayor of Palm Springs have we had a politician we could even consider masturbating to.
So I will continue to listen and keep an open mind. As I’ve said many times, I hope to see a black president in my lifetime. More importantly, I hope to see one in John McCain’s lifetime.
But if on the eve of the election, Ms. Palin strategically lets down her bun, takes off her glasses and, in sultry tones, asks for my vote on a late night infomercial, I will have to take that into account when deciding what direction I think is best for my country.
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