Staring Contest
March 8, 2008
During the early show last night I noticed an older guy, stage right, who was stone faced and staring past the stage looking almost frightened. A bit later I noticed an even older gentleman, stage left, who was also unresponsive and staring into space. Occasionally you get people sitting right up front who have that deer-in-headlights look, to the point where they’re almost unable to enjoy the show. It was oddly amusing to me and I had to point it out so I said “I don’t mean to interrupt but are the two of you having a staring contest? Well, good luck to you both; may the best man win. I’ll do my best to stay out of your sight lines.”
Throughout the show I would go back to them and pepper some comments , some play-by-play about how their contest was progressing. It was a fun running theme and at the end of the show I declared the guy sitting stage right the winner because the stage left guy had dropped his head.
Afterwards, I’m in the lobby peddling my wares and out walks the older guy who had been sitting stage left. He is walking toward me, still staring out into space. A woman is holding his left arm and in his right hand is a long white cane. The guy is fucking blind.
A wave of heat went through my body and I felt a cross between embarrassment and amusement at the situation. As a comic you always want to appear in control and aware of everything but clearly I was cornered on this one and had nowhere to hide.
The guy walks right up to me, extends his hand and says “I had a great time. I really enjoyed your show.”
I thanked him and gave him a DVD for being a good sport, which was stupid because he’s blind; I should have given him the CD. But it was a great, awkward, funny moment that made my night.
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